katie,19, college student.
Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it.
Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.
There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.
But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?
High five, America!
oh my god
bitch that’s the tubby custard machine
OMFG THIS POST FINALLY MADE IT TO MY DASHBOARD IM CRYING
"bitch that’s the tubby custard machine"
10,000 years from now on the dawn of a new civilization where we are all just brains in jars flying spaceships through the vast unknowable void, i will still be laughing my ass off at “bitch that’s the tubby custard machine”. this i vow.
|me:||but it's 2 AM|
|stomach:||did i fucking stutter|
"Anne Bonny and Mary Read were pirates, as renowned for their ruthlessness as for their gender, and during their short careers challenged the sailors’ adage that a woman’s presence on shipboard invites bad luck."
Sculpture by Erik Christianson.
YO I WAS JUST READING ABOUT THOSE TWO PIRATE BABES THE OTHER DAY, CHECK THIS SHIT OUT
Anne Bonny met this dashing pirate lad named Captain Jack Rackham (aka “Calico Jack”, b/c HE LIKED TO DRESS REALLY COLORFUL) who became her lover. She dressed up as a man and joined his crew and then they rode around the Caribbean together raiding Spanish ships and it was totally rad
One of the ships they raided was one Mary Read was serving on. She was ALSO presenting as a man (b/c her mom basically raised her as a boy so she could get money from her mother-in-law).
So Mary Read decides to join Jack’s pirate crew, because that seems fun. AND THEN SHE AND ANNE BONNEY DISCOVER EACH OTHER and BECAME TOTALLY CLOSE. PRETTY GODDAMN SURE they were lovers ALONG WITH THEIR COLORFUL PIRATE CAPTAIN ALRIGHT how hot is that
One day they get arrested b/c their male pirate crew was super drunk and cowardly and basically left these two babes to fight off the British Navy all on their own, they gave it their best shot but well got pretty overwhelmed
The entire crew was hanged (Anne totally gave Calico Jack some shit for getting them caught), but when it came to Anne and Mary, they INSISTED THAT THEY WERE PREGNANT, and since under British law it was forbidden to kill an unborn child, THE WERE RELEASED!
IN SUMMARY: Pirate babes dressed as men discover secret identities and have hot threesomes on a boat before exploiting loopholes in the law in order to get away
Wouldn’t it be nice if the coolness of fiction came even CLOSE to actual things that happened
|Douche:||you know, there should be a warning sign on my dick|
|Nice girl:||excuse me?|
|Douche:||yeah, it should say choking hazard lol *hi fives bros*|
|Nice girl:||isn't that a label they put on small objects?|